Writer’s Strike Primer FAQ

Robert J. Elisberg has a funny little FAQ up at HuffPo which is definitely worth a read. Here are a couple of highlights:

I hear that the WGA negotiating strategy is all wrong. Isn’t it?

And you would do it differently how?

Well, er, I hear the WGA should bring in new negotiators who could make a deal. Shouldn’t they?

If you brought in the Secretary General of the United Nations, even he couldn’t make a deal right now, because the AMPTP corporations have walked away from the table. It’s a well-accepted fact that it’s almost impossible to make a deal with someone who isn’t there. The only known case where this has occurred was a tribe in Kenya that communicates by telepathy. However, it completely misunderstood the other side, and got screwed royally, many times over. In the end, the AMPTP corporations using their CIA contacts came in, bought the village and threw the residents out.

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I hear that the studios and networks say they don’t make any money from the Internet. Why should they pay writers for it?

Studios and networks also say they don’t make any money from TV and movies. According to studios and networks, they all went bankrupt 24 years ago and have been completely out of business since 1987. CBS today makes athletic shoes. Paramount runs a chain of muffler shops. Neither, they say, make a profit. By the way, if you had wandered through the recent Consumer Electronics Show, you would have understood how massive a galvanizing profit these companies (and countless other companies) make from the Internet – right now. It’s dizzying. Moreover, if you really want to scare AMPTP companies, say this to them: “I hear you make even more money from “metadata” than almost anything.” They’ll quickly turn and run. Simply, metadata is the data embedded in New Media. Companies make huge money selling their metadata. (The amount is technically known as “oodles.” ) Let’s put it this way – how do you think Google became a multi-billion dollar company with a product line they give away for free. Selling metadata. When figuring profit from New Media and the Internet, it counts. No profit from the Internet. Ha, good one.

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Why do writers deserve residuals? Didn’t former MCA head Lew Wasserman once say he wished he got a dollar every time he flushed his toilet?

If Lew Wasserman could have gotten 10 million people to watch him flush his toilet, he would have deserved that dollar. You misunderstand what residuals are. Residuals are not a bonus. Residuals are delayed compensation for promised income. Here’s what that means – a script has a high value, but companies cannot pay that amount up front, it’s too expensive. So, they reach a contractual agreement with writers: we’ll pay you much less than your script is worth so that we can make the show, and then if it’s successful and gets shown again and we make additional money, you’ll get a small percentage of that, to make up for what you didn’t get paid at the beginning. And both sides agree to that. Contractually. People grasp that novelists get paid each time a book they created is sold, that playwrights get paid each time the drama they created is performed, that recording artists get paid each time the CD they created is sold – it’s the same for TV and film writers.

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I think TV and movies stink, so I’m glad writers are on strike. Why should I care?

You shouldn’t. Read a book. Read a newspaper. Play some hoops. Keep in mind, if you don’t like what a network is showing, it was a studio executive who decided what should be put on – and then, without any creative experience, sent notes to the writers telling them how to change it. For those of you who actually watch TV and movies, and have obviously found things you like – isn’t it nice that there are writers who are able to overcome the hurdles and turn out such enjoyable, involving, funny, dramatic stories? But ultimately…y’know, you have your own lives to lead. Care about whatever you want that’s important to you. That’s America. This happens to be important to writers. And to actors. And whoever works in Hollywood, which is perhaps America’s biggest, most influential export to the world, America’s public face to every corner of the globe. It’s your choice if you want to support America, the land of the free, the home of the brave, from sea to shining sea.

The writers need to stay strong and committed. If they do they will win. They also need to know that we who are not on strike, but who are or may be affected by it, are behind them. They are fighting for our future.

In solidarity.